Photo Shoot
by schaadenfreude
Summary: a drabble wherein the main gang does silly gay stuff. T for imagery, i guess.


The sparring hall of the salle rang with the clash of blades and the _zip-CRACK_ of Prince Noctis' warp-blade magic. Ignis Scientia stood well to the side, arms crossed, and watched Noctis and Gladiolus Amicitia duel. Duel, not spar, for the Prince did not often use his warp-strike in mere practice unless that was the session's focus. They were both also using live steel, their own blades, rather than the dull practice weapons usually used in mere sparring matches.

The door swung open to admit Prompto Argentum, who paused when he saw the ferocity of the battle. He scurried over to Ignis' side and watched the duel with wide eyes.

Prompto leaned closer to Ignis to whisper, "What are they fighting about now?"

"The usual," Ignis drawled indulgently. "It is Gladio's opinion that Noct has been getting complacent lately in their sparring. Noct disagrees. They are currently settling the matter. I think whoever wins gets to name a forfeit for the other."

"What kind of forfeit?" asked Prompto, suddenly sounding a lot more intrigued.

"That is for the winner to determine." A pause. "If Gladio wins, I shudder to think of what he'll make Noct do." There was a faint smile about Ignis' lips as he spoke, though his tone was deadpan.

Prompto grinned. "If Noct wins, I hope he makes Gladio do something _really embarrassing_."

"Nothing embarrasses Gladio," Ignis snorted.

Their conversation came to an end when Noct swept Gladio's legs from under him and sprinted away – in the direction of the two spectators. That was not a deliberate target, but the corner where Ignis and Prompto stood were the furthest away Noct could go from where Gladiolus was picking himself up. So far, Gladio had been certain to stay close to Noct and not let the Prince get enough distance for a truly nasty warp-strike.

Ignis and Prompto stepped out of the warpath, though the Prince did not even reach them; he turned, threw his weapon toward the charging Gladiolus, and warped after it. He struck true; Gladio parried the blow, but the force still threw him to the ground and sent his blade skittering several bodylengths away. Noct put a booted foot on Gladio's chest and held the point of his sword to Gladio's throat. Both were panting with effort and their light workout clothes damp and clinging with sweat. (Neither of them noticed that Prompto's camera was out and snapping away. Such a tableau was not to be passed up!)

"Do you yield?" Noctis grunted, still holding his position.

A sigh of defeat slipped from Gladiolus, who slapped the salle floor twice with one outstretched arm. "Yeah, yeah, you got me. I yield."

Prompto pumped the fist not holding his camera into the air. "Woo-hoo, score one for the Prince! Nice one, Noct!"

Noctis banished his blade but kept the hand out, offering it to Gladio. He used it to pull the Shield to his feet. "Now, about that forfeit…"

"What about it?" Gladio said, raising his eyebrows expectantly. The wicked gleam in Noctis' eyes made Gladiolus grin with equal mischief. "Looks like I'm gonna enjoy whatever you have in mind."

* * *

"I can't believe you convinced your father to let you have the Regalia for this," Ignis said to Noct, though it was slightly muffled, for he had one gloved hand covering his face. Noct could still see the flush of red across Ignis' cheeks, though, and it made him laugh all over again.

"Dad doesn't know _what_ I needed it for," Noct explained, grinning. "I just asked to borrow it!"

"Okay, Gladio," Prompto said, crouching, camera at the ready. "Stretch out on the hood!"

"Like this?" Gladio, wearing nothing but half-laced boots and black cutoff jeans (cut off mere inches from the seat) that were a size too small, sprawled out on the Regalia's hood. He braced one elbow on the hood and tucked that hand under his head, laying on his side, and braced one foot flat on the hood to stick his knee in the air.

" _Perfect!_ Now give us _that look_ , okay?" But Prompto was already snapping away even before Gladio obeyed and aimed a smoldering, sultry look at the two bystanders.

Noct elbowed Ignis until he uncovered his face. The blush that had begun to fade returned with increased brilliancy when he made eye-contact with Gladiolus, who licked his lips pointedly.

"Oh _baby,_ " Prompto crowed. He scooted over to a new vantage point and kept snapping photos. "I like where you're goin' with this! Keep workin' it!"

Gladio bit his lip to avoid grinning like a fool, and slid his free hand down his chest (where had they gotten this nice-smelling oil from anyway) until his fingers reached the button of the tight shorts. With another smoldering glance, he flipped the button open.

"This is a pin-up shoot, big guy, not porn. Keep it PG-13!" Prompto chided. Though his cheeks were also red, and he sounded a little breathless. "Save the good stuff for when I'm done taking pictures."

"Too bad we don't have many props," Noctis commented thoughtfully, chin in hand. "Dad said the Regalia could use a wash…"

"Hey Iggy," Gladio rumbled, pitching his voice even deeper than usual, "Think you could track down some soap and a hose so I can give the car a bath?"

"No," Ignis said stiffy, his face aflame, "I will do no such thing. It's a wonder we haven't been discovered yet. Are we done?"

"C'mon, Iggy, don't be like that," Gladio purred again.

Prompto hopped back to them, his face wreathed in a huge grin. "Got some good shots that time. What pose should we do next, Noct? Inside the car, maybe?"

"We can put the top down," Noct said. "Hm. In the front seat, maybe? Or in the back?"

"I like the _backseat_ ," added Gladio in a suggestive tone. He sat up, but continued leaning back on one hand with his legs sprawled far apart, one on the quarter-panel and one hanging off the grille. "Or maybe we could pop the hood and I can _lean_ over to tune her up?"

"If I dared touch anything under the hood, that would be great, but…" Noct shook his head. "Better not risk messing anything up."

"All right, inside th– hey, where did Iggy go?" Prompto looked around, confused.

"I'll go find him," Noctis said, already stepping away. "You keep on shooting."

"Yes, sir!" Gladio agreed.

Finding Ignis did not take long. He was on the next block over, walking slowly enough for Noct to easily catch him up. They walked side-by-side in silence for a moment before Ignis said, "I'm doing a perimeter check to make sure you aren't interrupted."

"Uh huh," Noct hummed. He didn't believe that one little bit. After another pause, he said, "If it really makes you uncomfortable, Specs, you don't have to stay. I thought it would be a bit of fun. Lighten things up a little. With the treaty with Niflheim so close, we could all use some cheering up."

"That's… not it."

"Really?" Noct elbowed Ignis again. "I thought you were gonna get a nosebleed if that kept up much longer."

Ignis adjusted his glasses while a faint echo of his prior blushes reappeared on his cheeks. "That's just… not my idea of fun. But since you, Gladio and Prompto were enjoying yourselves so much, I didn't want to ruin it for you with my… embarrassment."

"Gladio was definitely playing it up just for you." Noct chuckled.

"Yes, he's good at that. It's one of his favorite hobbies," Ignis replied with a long-suffering sigh. "It would have worked better on Prompto if he wasn't preoccupied taking photographs."

Noctis chuckled again. "He's got your number, both of you."

"Yours, too, or you wouldn't have suggested this," Ignis commented archly, raising an eyebrow at Noct. "Don't deny it, Noct. I saw your face."

"Haha, well…" Now it was Noct's turn to look abashed, and Ignis' turn to smirk. "Are you cooled down, Specs? We should get back. It's about time to get the Regalia back to Dad, anyway."

"As you wish, Your Highness," Ignis said with a mocking bow.

When they got back to the scene of the photo shoot, there were no more photos being taken. The top was down on the Regalia, and Gladiolus and Prompto were sprawled across the backseat. Thankfully, they still had all their clothes on. As far as that concept went with Gladio's outfit, at least.

"By the Six… Gentlemen, it's time to return the Regalia!" Ignis snapped. His face was turning red again.

With a melodramatic sigh, Gladio sat up, still with Prompto in his lap. "Fine. But guess who gets to help me clean up this mess when we get home?" He ran a finger across his chest, which was still shiny with the fragrant oil.

"I'll help," Prompto said eagerly.

"You have a change of clothes in the trunk, Gladio, and you can wear them on the way back. If anyone sees you dressed like that, I don't know what the press will say…" Ignis shook his head.

"Okay, Mom," Gladio chuckled. He shooed Prompto off his lap with a slap on the backside and got up to change into real clothes. Ignis and Noct did an inspection of the Regalia to make sure they hadn't left a mark on it that King Regis (or more accurately, Marshal Cor or Gladio's father Clarus) would find.

Once they settled properly into the Regalia to drive it back, Gladio said, "You're still helping me get all this greasy stuff off, Iggy."

* * *

 **AN:** let's be honest, here, who wouldn't want a pin-up calendar featuring a muscly tattoo-covered dude like Gladio. not a lot of emphasis or prior explanation is placed on their relationship here, but if anyone wants me to expovomit at them, ask away.


End file.
